Did you know that by using a “You” statement it:
Validates the child’s needs, wants, and feelings by focusing instantly on them.

A child is crying during drop off time, the educator approaches the child and validates her feelings by saying; “You are sad. You miss your mom”. Most often the child will seek comfort and regain control over their emotions because the child feels understood.

Did you know that by using a “You” statement it:
Can help a child deal with not having immediate access to a preferred item.

A child is grabbing a sibling’s toy. The parent approaches the child and says, “You want to play with the truck. Your brother is still playing with the truck. It’s hard for you to wait.” The parent helps the child use his/her words to ask for a turn and supports them while he/she waits.

Did you know that by using a “You” statement it:
Validates the child’s successes and accomplishments by focusing the attention on the child and not the adult. This is why when giving reinforcement it is beneficial to use a “You” statement versus an “I” statement. This contributes to building a child’s self- esteem.

A child shares his toy with a younger sibling. The parent approaches the child and says; “You shared your toy with your brother. Look how happy he is”. The child smiles and experiences positive feelings about what he did and is more likely to do it again.

Jocelyne Desbiens and Brooks Hachey, Behaviour Consultants
Children’s Integration Support Services